The Stache blog

Ever feel like you’re a gargoyle? | March 18, 2010

So, I’m a college student. I know, it’s pretty impressive, but that’s not even what I’m going to be talking about so just hold your horses while I get to my point. At my school there are bathrooms with disabled stalls on every floor. You know the ones I’m talking about. I’m sure you’ve seen them or perhaps even used them once or twice. They’re pretty much all over the place. You go in, the stall is about twice the size of a normal stall, and the toilet is about a foot higher off of the ground. Are you getting the picture?

Here’s my point. I hate using these stalls. If you’re like me you do anything to avoid having to used the disabled stall, including going across the street to a restaurant or what have you. It’s not that I feel bad because I might be keeping a disabled person from using the toilet for a few minutes. I honestly don’t mind that. Everybody poops, so they need to wait their turns. It’s because the toilet is so stinking high off of the ground I feel like I’m a gargoyle perched on top of a cathedral. Seriously. I’m not a very big guy, I’m only 5’10”. Some of these toilets are so tall it’s hard for my feet to touch the ground which is way uncomfortable. I mean, it’s kinda hard to relieve your bowels when you’re distracted by the blood no longer circulating through your legs and feet.

Ever seen those signs of the person squatting over the toilet? That’s pretty much how it feels. Why on earth do those toilets need to be so tall? If anything it makes more sense for them to be shorter than other toilets. Speaking of short toilets… Remember those really small toilets that were in your kindergarten room back in the day? Those were the best.I don’t mind resting my head on my knees while I poop. At least then I could feel my legs.

That is all.

Actual photo of me in a disabled bathroom stall.



Posted in Uncategorized


  1. keep the comedy coming! Your photo show’s you a little shorter than 5’10”. Could you have been stretching the truth a bit? I am told that gargoyle turds smell like strawberrys and cream. Any truth to that?

    I am with you on the height of the toilet though, i have actually had my circulation cut off and my legs go to sleep while on the disabled stool. Maybe it’s the institutions way of trying to hurry the squatters off to make room for the next person in line?

    Comment by Big Daddy — April 24, 2010 @ 10:04 pm

    • I will not concede that the photo is a fake. The image is skewed, that’s all. Also, yes. Yes they do, but with a hint of lime as well.

      Comment by stache86 — May 14, 2010 @ 1:58 am

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This is the Stache blog. Here is what's on my mind. Prepare to be offended, hurt, and angered.







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